For the first time

For the first time in my life, there's one girl who actually love me for what I am. Sometimes, this is the most thing  that boys usually do like. But, things will not go out smoothly. Thing like this have the priority to make your life go on to next stage or make your life worse. For me? I ain't sure about it. That girl actually loves me 100%, I am very sure of that. But me? I am the worst lover in the world. That's why I am a jerk and it turns out so far it seems true.

That girl, she's beautiful and her smile make every other men want to be with her, women want to become like her. As the most luckiest person ever, she actually loves me. I don't know why she loves me. She's taller than me, she's better than me, she's the kindest (is that a word?) girl when around me. I have nothing by the way, short, not so romantic, boring and mean, especially to her. It's like someone giving you a Bugatti Veyron for free of charge, and you stupidly smash it into pieces.

Why this happened to me? Yeah, I lack the abilities of understanding and expression skills. So I pushed myself so that I can treat her well. What I don't realized was she truly madly deeply loves me. She always reminds me of something important for our relationship and gives suggestions to a some sort of well-developed relationship. Yet, I treat her badly, like I treat my other friends. What should I do?

So I started searching for answers. Perhaps it was from me, my inner thoughts, always thinking about only the outcomes, but not the procedures. Yes, love also have procedures, like your science experiments. The outcomes or results is base on your initial procedures. I'd make decisions. From now on, I'll try to figure ways to treat her like she always want. She said she only want to be appreciate like a girlfriend. I want to know that I love her, and must figure ways to show it to her. If she's upset, I'll comfort her. If she's want to cry, I'll wipe her tears. If she's feel alone, I'll always be there for her, to talk about something that can make both of us happy.

I wrote to much, I'm feeling want to stop here. This things will not end here, because I'll make sure she's feel the same way I feel towards her. So far I'm being a jerk and feel like want to stop and be a man. Girl, just wait for me okay? Our time will come.

PS : Sorry for my grammatical and usage of words mistakes, not so good with English. LOL.